Saturday, August 20, 2016

Words are Windows (or They're Walls)

"I feel so sentenced by your words, 
I feel so judged and sent away, 
Before I go I've got to know,
Is that what you mean to say?"

This is Ruth Bebermeyer's poem shared in its completeness in Marshall Rosenberg's book "Nonviolent Communications, (A Language of Life.)"

If the words we use impact delivery and our goal is collaborative relationships then we need to frame our messages accordingly. Consider that a single word can create a positive space for communication.

The following are examples of words that can empower or discourage.

We or I, rather than You, We is team work, I takes responsibility, and You points the finger of judgment.

Should or Could, Should is controlling, Could is open to possibilities.

But or And, But discounts what was previously said, And is inclusive.

Try or Will, Try is an excuse for not succeeding, Will is a commitment. 

Common language is clear and simple and does not exclude any listeners. Using jargon, industry specific terms, or acronyms can create confusion. Choose your language based on your listeners and seed effective and efficient communications. 

Consider that our own self talk is the best place to start. We want to think Inclusively rather than Exclusively. 

Inclusive thinking means we go with the flow, honor the rights of others, and maybe enjoy all parts of ourselves. 

An Exclusive mindset means we are trying to get rid of, control, deny, or interpret something powerfully, requiring lots of energy. Being Exclusive can be unhealthy. 

The future depends on strengthening the hidden wholeness within us. Operating from the wholeness within takes,
  • Mindful awareness of our negative self talk
  • A moment of truth by the observing power within that recognizes the intrusive thought or behavior
  • Understanding that reframing an intrusive thought is like being stuck in the mud, and taking a false bait. 
  • Reframing is power lifting, the more we do it the stronger and easier it gets to navigate the muddy waters.
Give yourself 15 minutes to refocus and resist your negative self talk and the noise in your head. Create delay before you perform on the past wired thinking or behavior by engaging in a constructive behavior or activity of your choosing. 

If we want peace in the world we need to seek peace within ourselves first, then, within our families, communities, and all life because we are the essence of all that is life. 

Love and Peace 


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