Tuesday, August 1, 2017

6 Pillars of Healthy Self Esteem

“ I have learned from experience that the greatest part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions and not on our circumstances.”
Martha Washington 

Have you struggled with your ability to cope with life challenges and your sense of competency to do so? Do you lack confidence in your worthiness for love, success, respect, or happiness?

I have found Nathaniel Branden’s book “The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem” clear, direct and insightful. Here is my brief take on it.
If you are following a life that is out of alignment with what you believe in and value, then it is difficult to live in integrity and feel good about yourself.
Self-esteem is a consequence of your behaviors. To have greater self-esteem we want to practice the following:
1. Live life consciously-live mindfully.
2. Accept ourselves - be kind to yourself about your mistakes, listen to what they tell you.
3. Take responsibility for everything in life: actions and inactions. You owe it to yourself; the world does not owe you.
4. Live on purpose- have a vision, not only at work, but also in your personal life, and work it.
5. Live in integrity- behave according to deep felt values and beliefs.
6. Be assertive - have courage to confront, say no and set boundaries. 

Good Old News About Meat

The National Cancer Institute and the AARP’s Diet Health Study analyzed data from 500,000 people age 50 to 71 and found that high meat consumption elevates risk of colorectal cancer, and lung cancer, with borderline higher risk of prostate cancer.

Pancreatic cancer was associated with red meat and processed meat ingestion for men, but not women. 

Red meat included beef, pork, lamb, bacon, red meat sausage and poultry sausage, luncheon meats, cold cuts, ham, hot dogs, and low fat dogs.

Additionally the NCI states that barbecuing meats at high temperatures may also contribute to cancer risk.

The AICR recommends less than 2.57 ounces of red meat a day, which is about the size of a child size fast food hamburger patty.

The American Heart Association recommends a diet of less than 7% saturated fat, which is below RDA of no more than 10%.

The Nurses’ Health study 2 collected data from 90,000 women in their 20’s, 30’s and 40’s and found that the more red meat they ate the greater their risk of developing breast cancer fueled by hormones. This study needs to be replicated, reliable and valid conclusions are pending further studies.

In the July 2010 issue of the John Hopkins Health Alerts there is an article on the secretions of fat cells and how these secretions play a role in our health. The more fat cells we have, and the larger they are, the greater potential for excessive fat cell secretions. There is an association between health problems and high fat cell secretion. When we are overweight we have more fat cells, and / or larger ones, which produce higher levels of substances than our bodies are meant to manage. Over time excessive amounts of these substances begin to damage blood vessels, tissues, impair blood flow, and result in diabetes, liver disease, high blood pressure, cardiovascular disease and certain types of cancer.
Eat Your Vegetables for a cleaner you and a cleaner planet. 

Monday, June 19, 2017

The Nature of Human Relationships

Wednesday, June 14, 2017

Heal Your Heart

Here are 6 little known tidbits about heart disease.

·         A Danish study claims that men and women with thighs that measure less than 23.62 inches (60 cm) in circumference have a higher risk of developing heart disease.

·         A person is more likely to have a heart attack on Monday morning than on any other day of the week.

·         Researchers suggest that those who stay up late may be more prone to heart disease even if they get eight hours' sleep. 

·         Negative emotions and depression are risk factors for heart attack and stroke. Conversely, happier people are less likely to develop heart disease.

·         People with poor oral health may be more likely to have atherosclerosis (clogged arteries) because the bacteria in the gums and teeth can enter the bloodstream and affect blood clotting

·         Notice when people say the Pledge of Allegiance, that they place their hands slightly to the left on the chest? That's because most people think their hearts are on the left sides. The truth is, your heart is dead center in the middle of your chest, though it feels like it's tilted to the left because the largest part of your heart is on the left. Your left lung is smaller than your right to make room for your heart.

Stay Tuned!

Thursday, June 1, 2017

Motivation- the Balance between Needs and Values

How is it that yesterday I was on top of the world, and today I am dull, and uninterested. I'd like to blame it on hormones, the foggy weather, or allergies, but that would be too easy.
If motivation comes from living a life immersed in my personal values, as I am told by reading Abraham Maslow, or Nathaniel Branden, then I know that when I tap into my natural energy, my values, (Inspiring, Discovering, Fun, and Adventure, - my top four values), life is simply more rewarding. Then what is limiting my access to this nature me?
Perhaps one of my needs is going unfulfilled and it is overshadowing my values, and thus limiting access to my vitality. When I have a need that is not completely met or handled, and I have no "needs satisfaction system" in place, to keep that need in check, I drift along in a leaky emotional boat. My sail may be strong, (my guiding beacon of values), but the cracks in my hull prevent me from having a smooth journey.
Is it possibly to patch this waning spirit? Absolutely! Needs can be identified, and with conscious effort, satisfied permanently. I can plug up those leaky holes in my hull, put on a protective layer of good quality smooth paint, and zoom off, once again following my unique endeavors.
One of the first steps to renewed smooth sailing is accepting that we have an unfulfilled need. Here you might be asking yourself "How can I accept an unmet need when I do not even have clarity on what needs I do have?" While we all have basic human needs, we all have unique individual personal needs that help us to be our best.
Genetically we are not created perfectly in sync with our environment because our environment keeps changing. We are, however, endowed with a brain, which allows us the freedom of choice, as an adaptive mechanism. Having needs is normal and natural. Needs let us know where we are off balance with the world. Your unique personal needs can be discovered through your own personal exploration, or through using an assessment tool such as Thomas Leonard's Needless Program*. Once we know what we need, we can "cowgirl up" to meeting it.
The influential need, the one that is holding us back, tends to be one of our top four or five dominant needs. These are the ones that have the most strength in our present life, or the one that pushes the hardest to be seen. Careful examination can cue us in on where to focus. If a need is handled, it will not cause us any angst. If one of the newly identified needs is causing an unpleasant feeling then perhaps this is our limiting need.
Next step is to understand that this need exists for a good reason, however, today, it no longer serves you well. Janette who was under constant stress, and managed to maintain her social and emotional status quo as a sweet successful person by hiding, masking, and comforting herself with food, can illustrate this point. Janette needs to feel importance, or noticed. The busier she was the more worthy she felt. The food, which momentarily sedated her stress level, as the carbohydrates had their relaxing effect on her nervous system, did nothing for her lack of importance to life.
In order to satisfy her need to be important, or valued, Janette did some work on her self-esteem. Accepting her own behavior as self-serving, allowed her to open up to new and healthier possible actions to fill her need. Soul searching led her to conclude that she had been created with certain unique specific gifts, and that those gifts were what made her valuable. She stopped the task cramming behavior, and comparing herself to other people, and started using her values as her compass.
When I moved from the corporate world, to being a solo-preneur, my environment became less restrictive and confining and I began satisfying my need for freedom. By choosing to live with a large window overlooking the ocean, by running along the beach, riding horses in the hills, and being free to do as I please, when I please, I further fulfill my need for freedom. This does not mean I am irresponsible, because irresponsibly is not freeing. It does mean that I make my own choices, and that my choices reflect what I need to be my best.
Needs are normal, unique, and a part of us. A need does not have to be a secret hidden deep within us. It is our responsibility, as mature adults, to satisfy our own hunger, but we can also ask for help. Partnerships are invaluable tools.
*For more on Thomas Leonard's Needless Program read his book the "Portable Coach", or email me from http://www.defineyourself-coaching.com by clicking on my name.

Thursday, January 12, 2017

Balance in the New Year

Achieving Life Balance for Wellness
    A life in balance encompasses all dimensions of wellness. When one area is out of balance it effects overall well- being, just like a flat tire makes steering straight and towards a destination difficult and hazardous. While physical health, exercise, and nutrition are the foundations of our energy we are a multi-dimension integration of our physical, emotional, spiritual, intellectual, occupational, social, and environmental states of being. Consequently, when we are out of alignment in one area of our lives we are not in systemic homeostasis, or not running at full optimal capacity.
    Regard this wheel as a microcosmic representation of your whole self.  Well synchronized component parts increase our capacity for wellness.

   The Seven Dimensions of Wellness

Physical:  your body’s inside -out performance, your nutrition, your sleep, your healthy habits and your energy capacity.
Emotional: is attention to having the energy to recognize and manage feelings, thought patterns and behaviors, and making them work in our best interest.
Spiritual: is about the energy associated with discovering and understanding our individual guiding principles, values and beliefs that give meaning to our existence.
Intellectual: optimizing our energy for continued learning, creativity and an ability to think critically to solve problems.
Occupational: refers to the level of satisfaction we have in our work and knowing that it has meaning.
Social: considers how well we play and communicate with others, our family, friends, colleagues, and our larger community.
Environmental: how well we harmonize with the Earth and a recognition of our personal impact.

Try this simple self evaluation to help determine which dimensions
of the wheel will get your attention first. 

Rate your wellness in each area of the wheel. Rank from 1-10 ; 10 means you are fulfilled and complete in this area of your life and a 1 means you see no fulfillment.

Select a dimension you have rated as important; a rating of five or larger and address it in the following learning activities.

Learning  Activity
Take one of the statements you checked in the physical dimension of who you are and complete the “who I am” box using self reflection, then complete the “who I aim to be” box after considering  the following  points.
·Explore your sub-conscious, see how your perceptions or your interpretation of a situation affects the way you act in the world, and therefore your outcomes.
·Figure out a better way to cope with the situation next time.
Consequences box
The “consequences”  box will be completed once you have changed your view point of the situation and practiced your new coping techniques regarding the situation. 

For example, here I have used my Physical: dimension and filled in below the Who I was and 
Who I aim to be. I can substitute any other dimension. 

Situation: My Posture
Who I am
Who I aim to be
When I look in the mirror I see my shoulders are rounded forward.

Have great posture
My coping  technique                         
Who I was
Who I am today
I  avoid mirrors.
The minute I sit at my desk, or text, or walk I will squeeze my shoulder blades together 15 times.
Who I was
Who I am today
Unwilling to explore options.
More confident and aware of body alignment and how body posture affects my attitude. My upper back feels stronger.

Cheers and have a Prosperous NewYear.