The Nature of Human Relationships

Heal Your Heart

Here are 6 little known tidbits about heart disease. ·         A Danish study claims that men and women with thighs that measure less than 23.62 inches (60 cm) in circumference have a higher risk of developing heart disease. ·         A person is more likely to have a heart attack on Monday morning than on any other day of the week. ·         Researchers suggest that those who stay up late may be more prone to heart disease even if they get eight hours' sleep.  ·         Negative emotions and depression are risk factors for heart attack and stroke. Conversely, happier people are less likely to develop heart disease. ·         People with poor oral health may be more likely to have atherosclerosis (clogged arteries) because the bacteria in the gums and teeth can enter the bloodstream and affect blood clotting ·         Notice when people say the Pledge of Allegiance, that they place their hands slightly to the left on the chest? That's because most people think their hearts are on the left sides. The truth is, your heart is dead center in the middle of your chest, though it feels like it's tilted to the left because the largest part of your heart is on the left. Your left lung is smaller than your right to make room for your heart. Stay Tuned!

Motivation- the Balance between Needs and Values

How is it that yesterday I was on top of the world, and today I am dull, and uninterested. I'd like to blame it on hormones, the foggy weather, or allergies, but that would be too easy.
If motivation comes from living a life immersed in my personal values, as I am told by reading Abraham Maslow, or Nathaniel Branden, then I know that when I tap into my natural energy, my values, (Inspiring, Discovering, Fun, and Adventure, - my top four values), life is simply more rewarding. Then what is limiting my access to this nature me?
Perhaps one of my needs is going unfulfilled and it is overshadowing my values, and thus limiting access to my vitality. When I have a need that is not completely met or handled, and I have no "needs satisfaction system" in place, to keep that need in check, I drift along in a leaky emotional boat. My sail may be strong, (my guiding beacon of values), but the cracks in my hull prevent me from having a smooth journey.
Is it possibly to patch this waning spirit? Absolutely! Needs can be identified, and with conscious effort, satisfied permanently. I can plug up those leaky holes in my hull, put on a protective layer of good quality smooth paint, and zoom off, once again following my unique endeavors.
One of the first steps to renewed smooth sailing is accepting that we have an unfulfilled need. Here you might be asking yourself "How can I accept an unmet need when I do not even have clarity on what needs I do have?" While we all have basic human needs, we all have unique individual personal needs that help us to be our best.
Genetically we are not created perfectly in sync with our environment because our environment keeps changing. We are, however, endowed with a brain, which allows us the freedom of choice, as an adaptive mechanism. Having needs is normal and natural. Needs let us know where we are off balance with the world. Your unique personal needs can be discovered through your own personal exploration, or through using an assessment tool such as Thomas Leonard's Needless Program*. Once we know what we need, we can "cowgirl up" to meeting it.
The influential need, the one that is holding us back, tends to be one of our top four or five dominant needs. These are the ones that have the most strength in our present life, or the one that pushes the hardest to be seen. Careful examination can cue us in on where to focus. If a need is handled, it will not cause us any angst. If one of the newly identified needs is causing an unpleasant feeling then perhaps this is our limiting need.
Next step is to understand that this need exists for a good reason, however, today, it no longer serves you well. Janette who was under constant stress, and managed to maintain her social and emotional status quo as a sweet successful person by hiding, masking, and comforting herself with food, can illustrate this point. Janette needs to feel importance, or noticed. The busier she was the more worthy she felt. The food, which momentarily sedated her stress level, as the carbohydrates had their relaxing effect on her nervous system, did nothing for her lack of importance to life.
In order to satisfy her need to be important, or valued, Janette did some work on her self-esteem. Accepting her own behavior as self-serving, allowed her to open up to new and healthier possible actions to fill her need. Soul searching led her to conclude that she had been created with certain unique specific gifts, and that those gifts were what made her valuable. She stopped the task cramming behavior, and comparing herself to other people, and started using her values as her compass.
When I moved from the corporate world, to being a solo-preneur, my environment became less restrictive and confining and I began satisfying my need for freedom. By choosing to live with a large window overlooking the ocean, by running along the beach, riding horses in the hills, and being free to do as I please, when I please, I further fulfill my need for freedom. This does not mean I am irresponsible, because irresponsibly is not freeing. It does mean that I make my own choices, and that my choices reflect what I need to be my best.
Needs are normal, unique, and a part of us. A need does not have to be a secret hidden deep within us. It is our responsibility, as mature adults, to satisfy our own hunger, but we can also ask for help. Partnerships are invaluable tools.
*For more on Thomas Leonard's Needless Program read his book the "Portable Coach", or email me from http://www.defineyourself-coaching.com by clicking on my name.

Check Your Stinking Thinking.

Balance in the New Year

Achieving Life Balance for Wellness

    A life in balance encompasses all dimensions of wellness. When one area is out of balance it effects overall well- being, just like a flat tire makes steering straight and towards a destination difficult and hazardous. While physical health, exercise, and nutrition are the foundations of our energy we are a multi-dimension integration of our physical, emotional, spiritual, intellectual, occupational, social, and environmental states of being. Consequently, when we are out of alignment in one area of our lives we are not in systemic homeostasis, or not running at full optimal capacity.

    Regard this wheel as a microcosmic representation of your whole self.  Well synchronized component parts increase our capacity for wellness.

   The Seven Dimensions of Wellness

Physical:  your body’s inside -out performance, your nutrition, your sleep, your healthy habits and your energy capacity.

Emotional: is attention to having the energy to recognize and manage feelings, thought patterns and behaviors, and making them work in our best interest.

Spiritual: is about the energy associated with discovering and understanding our individual guiding principles, values and beliefs that give meaning to our existence.

Intellectual: optimizing our energy for continued learning, creativity and an ability to think critically to solve problems.

Occupational: refers to the level of satisfaction we have in our work and knowing that it has meaning.

Social: considers how well we play and communicate with others, our family, friends, colleagues, and our larger community.

Environmental: how well we harmonize with the Earth and a recognition of our personal impact.

Try this simple self evaluation to help determine which dimensions

of the wheel will get your attention first. 

•Rate your wellness in each area of the wheel. Rank from 1-10 ; 10 means you are fulfilled and complete in this area of your life and a 1 means you see no fulfillment.

•Select a dimension you have rated as important; a rating of five or larger and address it in the following learning activities.

Learning  Activity

Take one of the statements you checked in the physical dimension of who you are and complete the “who I am” box using self reflection, then complete the “who I aim to be” box after considering  the following  points.

·Explore your sub-conscious, see how your perceptions or your interpretation of a situation affects the way you act in the world, and therefore your outcomes.

·Figure out a better way to cope with the situation next time.

Consequences box

The “consequences”  box will be completed once you have changed your view point of the situation and practiced your new coping techniques regarding the situation. 

For example, here I have used my Physical: dimension and filled in below the Who I was and 

Who I aim to be. I can substitute any other dimension. 

Situation: My Posture
Who I am	Who I aim to be
When I look in the mirror I see my shoulders are rounded forward.	Have great posture
My coping  technique
Who I was	Who I am today
I  avoid mirrors.	The minute I sit at my desk, or text, or walk I will squeeze my shoulder blades together 15 times.
Consequences
Who I was	Who I am today
Unwilling to explore options.	More confident and aware of body alignment and how body posture affects my attitude. My upper back feels stronger.

Cheers and have a Prosperous NewYear.

Danielle

Adyashanti - The Collapse of Wanting

Raising the Bar on My Happiness

 Interesting to note that a good education does little to raise your sense of satisfaction in life. I suppose ignorance IS bliss. Happiness researcher Dr. Ed Diener suggests that once your basic needs are met, additional income does little for fulfillment. However, in a Times poll those individuals making $35,000 a year or less were significantly less happy. Both happiness researchers Deiner and Seligman conclude that the highest level of happiness comes from strong ties with family and friends.
Here are some practical suggestions by UCLA researcher Dr. Lynbomirsky to revitalize your level of happiness:

1. Count your blessings – make a gratitude journal where every week you enter the things you are currently grateful for, from little to bigger.
   
2. Practice acts of random kindness- remember how good it felt to let that harried driver into your lane, or let someone go ahead of you in the grocery line. Be generous. Get connected to others.
   
3. Savor joyful moments daily – the sunset, the rolling hills, the puppy, or any number of daily things we appreciate.
   
4. Thank a mentor – do this in person.
   
5. Learn forgiveness – this is the most generous gesture. Let go of the anger; move on to a life not bogged down by the past.
   
6. Invest time and energy in friends and family.
   
7. Take care of your body – get sleep, exercise, and eat healthy foods to stimulate positive hormones that enhance your moods. 
   
8. Develop strategies for coping with stress, hardship, and things not going as planned. At some point you have to deal with the issues. Better to establish new pathways than continue to suffer.
   

Dr. Seligman believes lasting happiness comes from figuring out your strengths and deploying them. Deploy away. Start today.